In Praise of Glop on Toast

If there was only one thing that I could cook, I would make it be Glop on Toast. It's tasty, filling, easy to make and there are variations of it to suit every occasion, even formal ones.

Bauern Toast 

On the easy end of the spectrum, there is Bauern Toast from Austria. Bauern is the German word for farmer, and I've read that Bauern Toast is a traditional farmer's meal. Personally, I find it a quick and tasty meal when I am in the middle of a good book and want to get back to my reading. MountainHorseGrrl likes it during our damp and chilly winters in the Santa Cruz mountains when her giddyup-and-go has gaddyup-and-went.

Several slices sharp Cheddar cheese 

To taste, grated Asiago cheese
Several slices heirloom tomato
Several slices of your favorite Artisan Bread
1-2 Tbsp unsalted butter

1. Butter the outsides of the slices of bread. (That is, the sides that will not be towards the cheese.) 
2. Assemble bread, both cheeses and tomato into a tomato-cheese sandwich with the buttered sides of the bread facing outward. A few minutes perusing Google will show you that there are many variations of Bauern toast that include lots of different ingredients so feel free to improvise as the feeling moves you. 
3. Heat a heavy skillet over medium heat and put the sandwiches into the pan, flipping them so that both sides become a nice golden brown. 
4. When sandwiches are nearly done, cover the pan with a pot lid for the last few minutes so that the steam will cause the cheese to melt all the way through. 

Serve. Remember, dribbling cheese and tomato juice on your book is SO attractive, so mind the escaping droplets as you enjoy. 

Bauern Toast II

Another variant of Bauern Toast which I was first introduced to at our local Tyrolean restaurant, I have subsequently sampled while visiting in Bavaria (which was odd, since Bavaria is definitely not Austria. It was kind of like going to North Dakota and being served grits 'n' gravy. When I spotted Bauern Toast on the menu and had to try it, my Bavarian hosts had a laugh at my weirdness.) This version is a little more work than the previous one, but still only about fifteen minutes to make and a lot yummier:

4 slices thick-cut bacon

6 oz flat, sliced fresh mushrooms
1/2 diced yellow onion
1 Tbsp fresh or marinated garlic
1 Tbsp unsalted butter
1 Tbsp general-purpose flour
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
2-3 oz crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
2-4 slices your favorite artisan bread

1. Chop bacon into 1" chunks and turn out into a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. 
2. When the bacon is about half done cooking, add mushrooms and onion. Sauté. 
3. When the mushrooms and onions are beginning to turn translucent and are a minute or two from being done cooking, add garlic and salt and pepper to taste. 
4. When bacon is cooked but onions and mushrooms are not yet overcooked, turn heat down to low and push mixture to edges of skillet, clearing the center of the pan. 
5. In the center of the pan, make a roux. (To make roux, melt the tablespoon of butter in the pan and add the tablespoon of flour to it, stirring until flour has browned. The roux becomes the base of the cream sauce and will cause it to thicken nicely as you continue to stir the sauce over the low heat.) 
6. Add the half-cup of cream to the roux a little bit at a time, stirring continuously. 
7. Add gorgonzola crumbles, continuing to stir until the cheese melts into the sauce and the sauce begins to become thick and creamy. Add additional salt and pepper if required. 
8. Stir sauce into the rest of the ingredients that you had previously pushed to the edges of the pan. 

Serve hot over slices of your favorite artisan bread. 

Welsh Rarebit

Similar to Bauern Toast but even easier to make and a with a very different, somewhat more refined flavor, is Welsh Rarebit from our friends in the UK. It's spelled rarebit but pronounced rabbit, or as John Cleese would say, "It's spelled luxury yacht but it's pronounced throat-warbler mangrove." 

(Traditional... Welsh... No rabbits hurt during preparation.)

2 cups, grated Cheddar cheese
1/4 cup, grated Asiago cheese
2 Tbsp unsalted butter
2 Tbsp general purpose flour
1 cup your favorite beer
2-4 slices your favorite artisan bread 

1. In a heavy frying pan over medium-low heat, make a roux. 
2. As explained above, to make roux, melt the two tablespoons of butter in the pan and add the two tablespoons of flour to it, stirring until flour has browned. The roux becomes the base of the sauce and will cause it to thicken nicely as you continue to stir the sauce over the low heat. 
3. Add the beer to the roux, stirring continually so that it combines into a sauce. 
4. Add both Cheddar and Asiago cheese, a handful at a time, stirring continuously until it becomes a smooth sauce. Continue stirring and cooking until the sauce has reduced to the thickness you desire. 

Serve by pouring sauce over slices of your favorite artisan bread. 

Toast Skagen

Another incredibly simple variation of Glop on Toast that's easy to make but a little fancier and so rich tasting that it's best saved for special occasions like lunch with your Mother-in-Law, is Toast Skagen. I first encountered Toast Skagen last year when I was in Stockholm for a computer conference. 

As I wandered around old-town Stockholm looking at all the troll statues and knit sweaters for sale, I was struck by the preponderance of restaurants offering Italian and Mediterranean food. On the cheap end of the spectrum, there were a lot of places offering lasagne and spaghetti.  It made me wonder what the Swedish colloquialism for Spag Bol was.  Actually finding Scandinavian food in Stockholm turned into something of a personal quest. Persevering until I at last found something that seemed both traditional and local, I was surprised to see that a dish called Toast Skagen was as common on the menu as Meatballs in Lingonberry Sauce. 

Since I was already familiar with meatballs in Lingonberry sauce from being an IKEA shopper here in the States, I skipped over that and went right for the reindeer steak and the Toast Skagen. 

The reindeer steak was an interesting experience, perhaps best described as "what venison should taste like" but it was the Toast Skagen that was the real winner. It was so good that when I got back, I had to try making it for MountainHorseGrrl. 

It's not the cheapest dish to make. The ingredients are on the expensive side. However the taste is excellent and as I mentioned, it's incredibly rich tasting for how simple it is. The three-way contrast between the flavors of the shrimp, the dill and the butter is lovely. If you make it, don't skip the caviar (roe). It's the inexpensive kind and really adds to the flavor. 

2 cups peeled, cooked baby shrimp
1/2 juiced lemon
2 Tablespoons minced dill (fresh!)
2 Tablespoons minced red onion
1 Tablespoon per slice butter
1/4 - 1/2 cup mayonnaise
To taste: Bleak Roe (whitefish roe)
4 Pieces artisanal white bread 

1. In a medium-sized bowl combine shrimp, red onion, dill and lemon juice. Fold in enough mayonnaise to create a salad-like consistency. 
2. Add salt and pepper to taste. 
3. Melt butter in a heavy medium-sized skillet. 
4. Brown slices of bread in butter until both sides are evenly toasted. Use additional butter if necessary; the taste of the butter is a necessary complement to the dill. 
5. Blot the sautéed toast on a piece of paper towel to absorb excess butterfat. 
6. Place the toast on four plates and divide the shrimp mixture on top. 
7. Top each with a spoonful of roe. 

Serve with a light, crisp Riesling or Sauvignon Blanc. 

I know this dish feels fancy but resist the urge to refer to the meal as luncheon when you serve it. It's lunch. Really. Luncheon is what little old ladies in polyester pantsuits have while kibitzing and kvetching. Of course, if you are serving it to your mother-in-law, call it what you like…she'll probably be so astonished you can cook at all that you might escape the kvetching for an hour or so.