The following were heard mostly in clinics or lessons. For the "in crowd", you can amuse yourself guessing which teacher each of the quotes is from...
Student: How do I keep my horse from pawing?
Teacher: Teach him to paw with the other foot.
Student: (riding with their reins tangled up around their head)
Teacher: With that much slack, you're busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest.
Student: (riding slowly and timidly)
Teacher: Ride that thing! Ride it like you stole it!
Student: (riding with their halter under their bridle)
Teacher: You forget to take your pajamas off this morning too? That's how a sheep farmer rides.
Student: (looking bored and avoiding assigned task)
Teacher: Don't worry. In the next exercise You'll be busier than a cat burying crap.
Student: (allowing their horse to stick its nose in their pocket)
Teacher: That's your horse, not a teddybear. You want to snuggle? Buy a puppy. A puppy won't kill you when it jumps in your lap.
Student: (riding with their reins tight on the horse's mouth for the nth time)
Teacher: Well, I know this is a journey for each of us and we each come from a different starting point and we have to ride from where we are, and we're all trying our best to surmount the challenges in front of us. However, you goddamn son-of-a-*, what kind of a slack-brained pig farmer are you? You yank on that horse's mouth again and I'll damn well help him buck you off!
Student: (protesting being upbraided for having their reins tight and yanking on their horse's mouth)
Teacher: I'm not your mother. I'm your horse's lawyer and if you don't quit HAULING ON HIS MOUTH he's going to own your house!
Student: How do I keep him from laying down?
Teacher: Don't let him.
Student: This is my fifth clinic with you. Any thoughts?
Teacher: Well you don't terrify me anymore.
Student: How do I keep my horse from pawing?
Teacher: Teach him to paw with the other foot.
Student: (riding with their reins tangled up around their head)
Teacher: With that much slack, you're busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest.
Student: (riding slowly and timidly)
Teacher: Ride that thing! Ride it like you stole it!
Student: (riding with their halter under their bridle)
Teacher: You forget to take your pajamas off this morning too? That's how a sheep farmer rides.
Student: (looking bored and avoiding assigned task)
Teacher: Don't worry. In the next exercise You'll be busier than a cat burying crap.
Student: (allowing their horse to stick its nose in their pocket)
Teacher: That's your horse, not a teddybear. You want to snuggle? Buy a puppy. A puppy won't kill you when it jumps in your lap.
Student: (riding with their reins tight on the horse's mouth for the nth time)
Teacher: Well, I know this is a journey for each of us and we each come from a different starting point and we have to ride from where we are, and we're all trying our best to surmount the challenges in front of us. However, you goddamn son-of-a-*, what kind of a slack-brained pig farmer are you? You yank on that horse's mouth again and I'll damn well help him buck you off!
Student: (protesting being upbraided for having their reins tight and yanking on their horse's mouth)
Teacher: I'm not your mother. I'm your horse's lawyer and if you don't quit HAULING ON HIS MOUTH he's going to own your house!
Student:
Teacher: Don't let him.
Student: This is my fifth clinic with you. Any thoughts?
Teacher: Well you don't terrify me anymore.
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